Blind Obedience

I am four months deep into the mysterious gift of South Sudan.  To begin to describe my experience is in so many ways impossible and yet quite simple.  The following three themes have penetrated every moment of my mission experience to this point.

JOY.  This overwhelming gift of God has been facilitated through the beauty of every child and Jesus’ profound presence in each one of them.

PEACE.  I've been given such a clear understanding that I am living in the Will of God, wrapped ever so tightly within the Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

BLIND OBEDIENCE.  I walked into this country completely blind.  There was no book, no photo, no straightforward advice as to what exactly I would experience in this new nation.  It seemed that no one could tell me exactly what the weather would be like, what I was supposed to wear, what language the people would speak, or what my work would be like; they didn't even seem to clearly know whether or not I would arrive in a country of violence or of peace.  While my Salesian superiors gave me the most wonderful (though quite vague) expectations, the internet told me so many horrifying things.  Despite the fear I felt in the weakness of my human flesh, my spirit was crying out for this place, drawing me here.  I knew in my heart of hearts that I was meant to discover myself and my life’s purpose in this very place.  Saying yes to that sweet call of the Holy Spirit, despite my human anxiety, was the best decision of my life.

I've continued to walk blindly in the arms of God since my arrival.  One transition after the next has caused me frequent doubts about my abilities and to ever question what the heck the Lord was doing.  He sent me to Juba for my first three weeks, where I felt the love of a family and deep purpose like I've never felt before.  I never wanted to leave.  But then it was time for Maridi!  After I allowed myself to feel at home and find my joy in the new placement, I learned that the hospital I was supposed to work for wouldn't open for another several months.  God decided I should become a teacher.  I laughed at Him.  How could I possibly teach 6^th grade?  I have no idea what I’m doing!  He laughed back and handed me 5^th and 7^th grade as well.  And then I fell in love!  

Every transition has brought my human heart much worry.  I always fear these changes every time God calls me to shift forward, feeling incredibly incompetent and afraid of missing the place from where I have come.  Then, after I allow God to do what He does best- lead my heart to rest and fulfillment- I am again reminded that His plans are perfect, and I ought to have trusted Him from the very beginning. 

Big changes are again in the wind.  This time I’m trying to do it better!  So far, so good.  I ask for your prayers that peace can overpower any doubts or nerves in the process! 

• I am pleased to announce: This coming Monday, 14^th January, 2013, the Don Bosco Heath Centre of Manguo-Maridi will officially be open to the public!  Finally!  We will be running an outpatient facility, working from 8:30 am until 1:00 pm, Monday through Friday.  You will find me there in a white lab coat, confidently clueless, again practicing the nursing that I’ve been missing for the past six months.  I have no idea what my day on Monday will look like, but I imagine a mix of every nursing specialty in one jumbled package.  I am repeatedly quashing any fears with the reminder that this is what I came here to do.  It has to be the best yet.  God wouldn’t have put me here to do something lame.  I have big expectations. 

• On the other hand, the opening of the Health Centre will result in the closing of my little nurse’s office in the school, which has been the icing on my cake since I've arrived here, sweeter than sweet.  Please pray for me in that transition as well.  I have loved being the nurse of each one of these children, knowing all their ailments and striving every day to promote health for my dear friends.  I will continue to love them so much, no matter what exactly my role looks like. 

• Don Bosco Primary School commences the 2013 school year in two weeks, and you will find me there, every afternoon after the close of the Health Centre, teaching Religion to Class 7 and Arts & Crafts to Classes 6 and 7.  I am super excited for this class assignment; I couldn’t have asked for a better supplement to my nursing career!  I just pray it all doesn’t run me to the ground from exhaustion, but I know His grace will be sufficient.

“Cast yourself into the arms of God

and be very sure that if He wants anything of you,

He will fit you for the work and give you the strength.”

–St. Philip Neri

Joy to the World

The experience of Christmas this year in South Sudan was an incredible gift of joy.  It was, needless to say, so vastly unlike any Christmas I have ever celebrated in the past.  Of all that I have seen and experienced, and I am left with three simple thoughts to share.  These are my three little flowers of Christmas.

1.  A Little Flower of Simplicity

This Christmas I was stripped of almost everything that has defined Christmas for me for the past 24 years of my life.  I hardly missed the exaggerated, commercial aspects of the season, except for the opportunity to give gifts to the ones I love.  (And I might miss Target a tiny bit...)  As we drew closer to Christmas day, without the traditional decorations and lights lining the streets or the Christmas songs on the radio, in addition to the steaming hot weather, it hardly felt like Christmas at all.  On the big day, there were no baked goods, no steaming mac & cheese or baked ham from Granny's kitchen, and there was only one, small Christmas tree, which we placed in the church.  Overall, the most significant absence this year, unquestionably, were those people I love so much, and not being surrounded by family and friends to celebrate one of the greatest feasts of the year was particularly difficult. 

Yet from this great void of typical holiday traditions arose an experience of profound beauty.  Having stripped away all the usual and familiar customs, I was able to experience Christmas solely for what it is: The coming of Christ.   He was the center of our celebration and the source of our joy here in South Sudan.  The festivities began with Christmas Eve Midnight Mass, soon after followed by rising for mass on Christmas Day—all the faithful were present for both.  Singing and dancing filled both masses from start to finish, all the carols in Zande language and with full excitement and enthusiasm from everyone present.  The parishioners stayed for hours after mass, beating the drums and continuing the songs and dances from inside the church.  We shared a simple meal in the Salesian community later that day with good conversation, many laughs …and even a bottle of altar wine.  The day was about rejoicing in the goodness of our God and sharing that with others.  How simply perfect.

2. A Little Flower of Thanksgiving

There was no moment more poignant this Christmas, nothing more deeply inscribed on my heart, than when I first saw my friends on Christmas morning.  Here in South Sudan, the children don’t anticipate new toys, fancy electronics, or any number of gifts under a Christmas tree.  All they want, all they desire, is new clothes.  They hope and pray for one new shirt, one pair of pants for the boys or a skirt for the girls, and maybe even a new pair of shoes if you’re one of the lucky ones.  I knew this before Christmas; I had heard all the chatter about new clothes for all the weeks leading up to the big day.  Regardless, nothing compares to that moment when I saw each of the children, one at a time, cross the threshold of the church, not wearing the torn, faded, and soiled one or two outfits they have worn every day since my arrival to this country, but instead in a crisp, clean, handsome new outfit.  They would glance my way and wave, a wide, proud grin across their radiant little faces.  It was an deeply emotional experience for me.  I was so taken aback by the impact of something as seemingly simple as clothing, which at home in America I would thoughtlessly buy every month or two as a need arose, or as Target would so faithfully beckon.  My heart was flooded with thanksgiving.  It was appropriate that I was sitting in church watching this scene unfold, because I was immediately drawn into prayer, thankful to God for providing their parents with the means to provide this necessary and wonderful gift for their children.  I wanted to hug all their parents and thank them myself for their kids’ new clothes!

Just as strong and powerful were the emotions experienced while watching the handful of children walk into the church that day wearing that same, tattered shirt and pants they’ve been wearing for as long as I’ve known them.  My heart was broken imagining how they each felt to be the few whose financial means couldn’t meet the cultural expectation.  I was hurting to imagine the poverty in those families, where certainly putting food on the table and sending children to school is as much of a struggle as providing Christmas clothes, and most probably they are lacking in more areas than just the obvious one.  For those children, I wanted to run to the market and put a new shirt over their little head with everything in me.  I know Jesus wrapped them up that day and held them close to His Heart in a special way.         

3.  A Little Flower of Contentment

I had a blast singing my heart out to the Zande songs and dancing around all day with my little friends.  The celebration was joyful in so many ways; overall, it was a spectacular day.  At the day’s end, as I made my walk home, I found myself in a wide smile as I came to this realization: I was more excited for December 26th.  I was eager to continue to harvest beans with the boys, play football during oratory, put Band-Aids on little toes, and share more of those sweet conversations with friends in simple English.   

I loved the Christmas holiday, but I love my life more.  

And one last little gift from heaven, my Christmas gift this year: these children.  Christmas afternoon I was leaving the convent on my way to the Father's house.  As I pulled open our gate I was intersected by these nine children.  I hadn't met any of them before, but we became instant friends.  They were joyfully and continuously telling me so many things in Arabic, and I was picking apart bits and pieces and responding as best as I could.  Though our attempt at communication was very broken, it was a perfect combination of funny, adorable, heartfelt, loving, and very sweet.  The usual 2.5 minute walk from house to house ended up lasting about 15 minutes after all the chatter, hair braiding, photos, and caroling we did along the way.  They were little angels from heaven, sent to love me on Christmas day.        

“The coming of Jesus at Bethlehem brought joy to the world and to every human heart.  The same Jesus comes to us again and again in our hearts during Holy Communion.  He wants to give the same joy and peace.  May His coming this Christmas bring to each one of us that peace and joy that he desires to give.” –Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Busy at Rest

Happy Advent!  I pray God is blessing each of you in every way during this beautiful season of anticipation and expectation.

It's still funny to me how comfortable I feel despite a lifestyle that so unlike the one I have been living for the past twenty-four years.  I am shocked to not be craving Panera Bread or Dunkin' Donuts.  The cold shower doesn't even faze me.  The mosquito net over my bed has become second nature.  It's hardly odd that as we move deeper into December, the temperature hasn't plummeted, but in fact grows warmer every day.  But knowing that I have stepped out of the known, the comfortable, and entered into God's Will so entirely, I am certain that it is solely and completely by His grace that my heart feels more at rest than I can remember ever before. The moments of consolation and confirmation of this call often come at the most unexpected times.  One evening, after attempting to scrub my feet clean for five solid minutes, at the recognition that they have become as rough as sand paper and inconsolably dirty, I could do nothing but smile at how much more perfect they have become in this place.  The day when I felt like a total mess and really wanted to put on some "normal" clothes, blow dry my hair, and look like a girl again, exactly then did one of the boys pass me by and tell me I was looking nice today. Even a better day was receiving the most rare and ultimate of compliments, "Sister, I think you are an African," once because of the crazy braiding in my hair and again due to the scarf I had thrown haphazardly around my head for shade.  God's heart has been revealed in the most simple, unanticipated moments.  Just yesterday, I found myself in a pitiful mood for a variety of reasons, and one of my smallest friends, a boy called Anbeko, having only three years, came sweeping past me in a full sprint, and shouted over his shoulder, "Sister Gracie!"  The day I started hearing the boys call me "Gracie" was a big hug from God, telling me I’m home.  

When I daydream, night-dream, think about the kids at any random point throughout the day, I sometimes catch myself mid-thought, forgetting color in my mind's eye.  When I recall the memories I’ve made with the children, I subconsciously see no distinction between us.  There have been several moments when I have been among and interacting with the children, gotten a quick glance at my arm, and been genuinely surprised by the color of my skin.  The eyes of my heart has become blind to the worlds that separate us.  I forget that they have been through war, that they’ve all tragically lost parents and siblings, and that they aren’t going home to electricity, a toilet, or enough food.  I am not ignorant of their many needs, but when we play, they are simply my friends.  I feel so much a part of them, a member of their community and family, that the lines dividing us have so beautifully blended together.  It's a strange realization in these moments that I am coming from a completely different world than my sweet little friends, because our hearts are so much the same.

"You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, 

and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." 

-St. Augustine

Let me next apologize for the lapse between entries, blogging has been ever on my mind these weeks, but a free minute to accomplish the task has been impossible.  So many BIG things are happening at Manguo Mission in Maridi, keeping us all so busy!  I will attempt to take you quickly through all of them! 

Our Beautiful Sisters!!!

The sisters have finally arrived! They are a perfect addition to this family here in Monguo Mission.  Three sisters have joined our ranks, all of them young, energetic, personable, motherly, affectionate, tender, nurturing, adorable, and deeply holy.  I love them so much!  Our laughter is constant.  One more sister will join us before Christmas.  

The Hospital here at our mission was inaugurated with a massive celebration on November 20th.  We had government leaders and politicians from all over the state and even some from Juba and Khartoum travel to Maridi for the event, in addition to the 1500 villagers who gathered for the event.  If blessing our beautiful, new health facility wasn't enough, as Bishop Eduardo was celebrating the [five hour long] Inauguration Mass, he took a moment to administer the sacraments of First Holy Communion and Confirmation to ninety of our school children- twenty-two of whom were anointed and brought into the Catholic Church from the Anglican rite.  What a gift for our Church!  The whole day was beautiful and profoundly impressive.  Two moments of greatest impact for me occurred as the dignified guests gave speeches after mass.  First, the Minister of Health shared a powerful message, commenting on the health care statistics in South Sudan’s Western Equatoria State being among the worst in the entire world, and he then praised the Salesian order for being part of the “solution to this problem.”  He continued on to parallel the new nation as a “one-and-a-half year old child with a handicapped mother” and called the Salesians “the good neighbor, who comes to aid the child in his time of great need.”  I was overwhelmed with gratitude and profoundly humbled to consider myself among the Salesian family after hearing this strong word of praise.  

Receiving the Sacrament of 
Confirmation during the 
Hospital Inauguration

The second most exciting moment occurred during the Governor’s speech, when he responded to the request of our Rector by promising before the whole assembly, "Within seven days, Monguo Mission will be given land for building a secondary school!"  You can only imagine the cheers and applause that poured from the audience.  The children are elated, both to attend a secondary school as awesome as their primary, and, of course, also at not having to walk the six miles daily to the nearest secondary school in town.  We cannot wait for the new project to begin! 

The hospital is now inaugurated, but it will not function for several more weeks.  We are still in search of a doctor and laboratory technician, and all our medicines and equipment need to be purchased from Uganda.  Slowly things will come together, in God’s timing!

Loving my students

The school year has ended!  I walked proudly out of my last class period with the seventy rambunctious fifth graders, having survived the chaos, and wistfully from my class six students, who have really loved me and taught me to love the teaching profession over the past few months.  Exams passed smoothly last week, and now I am left quite sad that all the children have gone.  Holidays will go on until the last week of January.  We are used to a compound packed with children from day to night, and now it’s become significantly quieter around here, of which I am not particularly fond.   I can’t wait for the next school year to begin! Though, I don’t quite know in what capacity I will be serving Don Bosco Primary when the 2013 school year begins.  God’s will be done!

Sister Grace at work in the office!

Our Diocese is preparing to celebrate a Centenary of Faith.  It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t until 100 years ago that the Catholic Missionaries of St. Daniel Comboni arrived in Western Equatoria State to introduce the people in this place to the person of Jesus Christ.  A massive week-long celebration is taking place in a city called Mepoi, within our Tambora-Yambio Diocese.  The community here will be traveling the 9+ hour journey on Monday for the celebrations.  I don’t know what to expect, but it should be a once in a lifetime experience!  When will I ever again experience a place that has only known Christianity for 100 years?

Thank you for your continued prayers, and know of mine for each of you.  On this great Feast of Our Blessed Mother’s Immaculate Conception, may she wrap you in her Immaculate Mantle and send her holy angels to guide each step you take.  Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us!

Being Here

I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, without question.  I find it still to be a bit of a mystery that God has called me to such a radically glorious life.  My days are full of smiling faces.  From across the compound I hear, what feels like one hundred times each day, the children calling out for me, “How are you, Sister Grace?!” and “Good morning, Sister!” or also the popular line, “Sister, look at this one!” (pointing to an injury that needs care) or the ever frequent arm-tapping as a child walks by wanting to shake my hand and say hello.  Each greeting is paired with a massive smile, and joy bubbling from the heart, written plainly on the face.  It’s incredible how loved they make me feel. 

My roles have shifted slightly in the past two weeks, and I’m finding my daily lifestyle to be absolutely perfect for me.  There is no doubt that Our Lord picked out each individual task for me; from time to time am overtaken by amazement of this very fact.  He planned this journey for me as a gift of love from the moment of my conception, even from the beginning of time.  Here's a glance at what is going on in my life. 

Teaching!

I am surrounded by the students of Don Bosco Primary School from the time the sun comes up in the morning until it sets in the evening.  Morning mass begins at 6:45 am, and each day the church is filled with children, and almost exclusively children.  It is a beautiful sight, and with each passing day it continues to move me.  Their faith is inspiring.

I teach an average of four class periods a day, but the school schedule changes daily.  I continue to teach English to the Informal Class of students that cannot pay school fees. (These fees, I should add, total about 33 US dollars for the entire year, but their families are far too poor to pay this amount of money.  Additionally, a majority of the children in the school work after school and on the weekends to pay for their own educations.  They value their schooling so much.)  I am also still teaching Scriptures to Class 6, and I have added Class 5 Scriptures to my duties.  The 70 rambunctious, talkative students in the Class 5 make teaching Scripture a bit more of a challenge than the 35 *generally* well-mannered, eager-to-learn pupils in Class 6.  As I see it, I am learning as much about being a teacher as they are about the Scriptures.  It evens itself out in the end.

One of the teachers has begun her maternity leave now, so I will pick up an additional six periods each week, teaching Arts and Crafts to Class 5, 6, and 7.  I’m excited for this one!  While I’m well acquainted to teaching 5 and 6, the students of Class 7 happen to be phenomenal  so I’m really excited to spend some time exclusively with them.   

Last week we completed our second term examinations.  Written at the bottom of the test paper of my Class 6 student, Emmanuel, was the message: "Sister, thank you for being happy."  No words in the English language could have said so much. 

Nursing!

My students and there many ailments!

In addition to my classes, I have now distinctly taken on the role of school nurse.  Father John Peter has now given me my own office, which becomes a small clinic during morning break and lunch break.  Somewhere around two dozen students stop by my “medicine room” during these times, and 90% of them are for the purpose of wound care.  So many of the children have wounds for various reasons, some are very large and deep, and they have a very difficult time keeping them clean.  Band-Aids are definitely not a household item around here.  Almost all the wounds I treat are on the ankles and feet, and they quickly become infected because they are walking miles to school in sandals and playing football in every free moment with bare feet.  I’m trying to do as much education as possible with them for keeping their wounds clean, and so far I think it’s working a bit!  They are learning not to come to my office until they’ve washed their dusty, dirty feet and legs at the water pump. 

Making friends!

I’ve been making South Sudan my home for two months already!  There is no way to describe how fast the time has gone.  I feel like every time I stop to think, it’s already Saturday again, another weekend to wait eagerly for school to start on Monday.  The most gratifying part of being here for two months, and in Maridi for six weeks, is the relationships that each day become a little deeper and more meaningful.  A glance around my nurse’s office the other day to find the patients gone and the chairs filled with little friends is all the affirmation I need.  I love these kids with my entire heart, and I want them to know how true that statement is. 

The other day I was sitting and watching the school boys play (yet another!) football match at recess.  It is certainly the most popular pastime in this place; they can never get enough!  I have, without a doubt, watched and played far more football in the past 6 weeks than I have in my entire life combined- and probably doubled!!  Truly.  I still really don’t even like it that much, if I’m being honest, though it is growing on me.  While sitting with a group of girls watching the boys play that day, I had a moment of realization.  I experienced real joy watching them play.  I began thinking about my parents, sitting through hours upon hours upon hours of baseball, soccer, American football games, etc over the years.  I’ve always admired their perfect attendance record at every one of our games, and I didn’t know how they could do it!  I love my little brother, Ben… but I can only sit through maybe one of his baseball games in a week.  Enthusiastically, Mom and Dad watch those games with joy always, proud of our achievements and supportive through our mishaps.  As I sat watching those boys play, I had a glimpse of understanding in the motivation my parents have-- in loving us so much they are able to value and enjoy the things that make us happy.  In that moment, I felt like I could begin to understand that affection and motivation.  I’m certainly not a parent to any of the children here, and my relationships with them are only a few weeks strong at that.  And of course, my love for these South Sudanese children is not even close to the love I have for my little brother!  What I am realizing is the gift that God has given me in being an authentic part of these children’s lives.  God sent me here for one reason, and that reason is to love.

Today, Father Stan, one of the Salesian priests here, commented that this situation at the school is ideal for me, knowing how much I love both teaching and nursing.  My response sprung from my heart, “I don’t think I could be happier!  It’s perfect.” 

His response countered, “…Only in heaven.” 

I laughed and told him he was absolutely right, but right now heaven seems to be the only possible scenario that could trump this one.

What’s Next?

As good as things are right now, transition is ever approaching!  We have some great things coming soon.  We are awaiting a group of three religious sisters to arrive next week!  Some of them will be working with me in the new hospital, which is set to open on November 23^rd with a big ceremony and mass.  At the mass, the whole student body will be present, and many of the children will receive sacraments of First Eucharist and Confirmation!  The bishop will be coming, along with the governor and several other official people.  It should be a great event, and lots of planning is going on in preparation.  Also, the school year will come to a close the first week of December, just in time for me to start working in the hospital.  I’m excited to start this new work, but also a bit nervous to experience the intensity of illnesses here in South Sudan, and I’m so deeply going to miss the constant interaction with the school children.  I trust God’s plan will continue to be as joyful and fruitful as it has been thus far!  I’ll take one day at a time.

Prayer Intentions!

--For the children here, especially those in formation to receive sacraments.  

--For the sisters as they travel from India to South Sudan this coming weekend! 

--Please keep me in your prayers through the upcoming transition from teaching to hospital nursing.  -- I’m still working at learning Zande language, and my progress is so much slower than I would like.  Any prayer for my language studies would be greatly appreciated! 

Know that each one of you is on my heart in prayer each day!  All of the children here are praying for God's will in America's presidential election.  We thank you for all your prayers for us here in South Sudan!  

Turning 24

Adorned in flowers thanks to
some very sweet girls!

I celebrated my 24^th birthday this past Thursday in my new home in South Sudan.  I had in mind something small and humble- this was not the case.

The celebration was a daylong event and as far from simple as you can imagine.  During the morning school assembly, two of the girls from class 7 each made me these beautiful flower necklaces, which were simply gorgeous.  After they all sang to me, I addressed the school briefly, thanking them for loving me and making this place feel like home for me. 

Fr. John Peter cancelled school after 10:20 am for the festivities to begin!  The first event was a girls’ football match.  I addressed the players, inaugurated the match with the first kick, I sat in the seat of honor, and every couple of minutes the student announcer (whose commentating was literally hilarious) would exclaim, “Today we celebrate the birthday of Sister Grace!”  I am not used to so much attention!

One of the most beautiful parts of the celebration was the opportunity for the students to eat lunch together.  Despire the hour long “lunch break” the students take each day, no food is consumed during this time.  They simply do not eat all day.  Many students have an hour walk from home to school, the school day lasts form 8 am until 3:20 pm, and additionally many students remain for sports’ practices until 5pm.  They consume nothing during these hours.  As part of my birthday celebration, a group of girls spent two days preparing the meal from food grown and harvested by the students in the school gardens.  They ground maize to make asida, a pasty, starchy food that is a mix between mashed potatoes and bread.  They also cooked African peanuts, ground them, and prepared them for peanut butter.  The food was delicious!  I was so happy that on this day each child left school with a full meal in their belly.

  

But that’s not all!  After lunch was the Teachers vs. Pupils football match!  Some of our teachers are really intense, and the student players are amazing- they’ve made it to the semi-finals already.  The game was so much fun, and the teachers played incredibly well!   The whole student body stayed to watch.  Unfortunately, the game ended in a tie (1:1) a bit earlier than anticipated when one of the student players collapsed, unconscious, from heat stroke.  Did I mention that the day was really hot?!The excitement ended with a trip to the hospital and a few bags of IV fluid later, he was responding again and doing ok.  

When I returned home a few hours later, the celebration continued in our Salesian community!  The fathers and brothers prepared a big meal and we ended the night with a community viewing of Shrek 4. 

I have to thank my beautiful and amazing partner, Cait, for everything she did to make the day amazing.  I am so blessed to call her my mission partner and friend!  I could not have felt more loved by my African family this day.

Twenty-four is a year I have been anticipating for a long while.  Why?  My dear St. Therese died at age 24, as did many other great saints, such as Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha (soon to be Saint!), and St. Elizabeth of Hungary.  No, I’m not hoping to die this next year, and I don’t think it’s in the plan.  But I do believe there is a great grace associated with this age, and I want to make this a year of sanctity.  These young saints accomplished such great things in their 24 years.  I am so far from the holiness they achieved during their days on earth, but I hope that, by the intercession of these beautiful saints, I can become a stronger, more virtuous, more loving woman in this next year of my life.  I’m so excited to be 24 here in South Sudan!  I don’t know what exactly this year will bring, but I am confident that it will be unbelievable.  

Little Successes

Success in missionary life is almost impossible to actualize.  Especially in the process of transition, it is difficult at times to determine which way is up and down, much less whether or not any of the activities of daily life can be deemed effective in any small or large way.

After two full weeks of settling into Maridi, I started getting used to the rhythm of life here, teaching a few classes and participating in daily oratory, living a life packed full of smiles and handshakes, name learning and games.  I thought my efforts were going relatively well-- though of course their results were in no way tangible.  It was mid- last week, that Father John Peter exclaimed to the community during evening announcements, "We should all be very proud of Grace and Caitlin, they have really begun their mission work today!"

I was caught off guard in the moment and thought to myself, What does he mean?  I've been teaching and playing with the children so much in the past weeks.  Hadn't I done everything he'd asked of me since I'd arrived?  I couldn't even recall what I had done new or different that day.

And he continued, "Today they taught songs in the school and played football with the girls!"  Oh, right- we had taught a new song to the Class 6 and initiated the girls' soccer team that day.  The whole community clapped.  And then it dawned on me.  Yes, just like we learned in orientation: Mission is not about doing, but about being and loving.  Yes.

Featuring my amateur guitar and vocal abilities and less-than-impressive soccer skills that day, while definitely some of the most enjoyable parts of the day, were far from what I considered the epitome of being a missionary.  The Gospel story this morning of Martha and Mary becomes all the more applicable.  I am Martha- my mind has been focused on what I was assigned to do- becoming the world's best English teacher or never missing a minute of any scheduled event.  No, what Father felt was most the most important thing that I could do for these children was to be Mary- to offer simple moments to just be with the children and to love them.  Skill and expertise were not the aim, but the amount of heart I could pour into my work.  This is where true "success" lies,  not only in mission but in the very essence of life.  Once again Mother Teresa's voice echoes in my heart, "You can do no great things, only small things with great love."

Some new friends from Class 6

This week I have also begun teaching a Scripture class to Grade 6!  I never anticipated teaching, but it's quickly become a highlight of my time here.  A few days ago, I asked one of the young seminarians in the community, Emmanuel, how his classes were going and if he enjoyed teaching.  His response was: "Yes, Jesus was a teacher, and we are called to follow him."  This has stuck with me ever since.  The nursing will come in its time, but meanwhile, I get to love children, help them learn something, and follow in the footsteps of the Perfect Teacher.  I teach one 40 minute period from Monday through Friday to 42 students, ranging from ages 12 through 19.  Only three classes in, and honestly, I already love them.  A lot.

I must admit that despite the language barrier and the moments of frustration and hesitation that naturally come each day, I am so deeply and peacefully happy here.   I strive to live simply and intentionally in every moment I'm blessed with here in South Sudan.  Jesus, help me to love.

"We must begin with love, continue with love, and end with love." -St. Francis de Sales

The Feast of St. Therese!

Today was a day of great joy- the feast day of my patroness and dear friend, St. Therese of Lisieux.  This was, perhaps, the best day I've had in Africa thus far.  I need to highlight some of today's sweetest blessings in order to thank The Little Flower for her most generous intercession.

--- I found a new and great contentment in the classes I taught today.  I may grow fond of this new ministry!

--- At school this morning a student jumped off a desk and sliced his head open.  I know how sadistic this may sound, as listed among my day's blessings.  ...But I got to be a nurse!  I've missed nursing so much!  It was a rush to clean and dress his wound, and then send him off to the hospital for a few stitches.  I was smiling while taking care of him; it's kind of cruel that I experienced any small amount of joy in this poor child's suffering.  I was glad to be present in his moment of need and to have been able to help him.  I pray for his quick recovery!  

--- This afternoon Cait and I taught a song to the 6th grade class, one that we'd learned in Juba during our stay.  The words are: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, I love you.  I want to love you, Jesus;  I love you," repeated a few times.  You can't imagine how much of their hearts these children poured out into singing this song.  We had so much fun!  It was absolutely the highlight of the day.  Never did I ever imagine standing in front of any group of individuals, singing a solo to teach lyrics, and feeling completely comfortable.  I guess African culture will do that do you- if you have a voice, you use to praise God, plain and simple.  I expected to spend 10 minutes in the class, but the entire 40 minute period was over before I had realized what happened.  We were singing so loud to the guitar and dancing so crazily that by the end of the period half of the school was standing in the doorways and windows, listening and singing too.  Perfect joy.

--- With a mild amount of success, I made chocolate chip cookies on the stove today.  We don't have a oven, and I needed to satisfy my desire to bake.  The priests liked them!

--- Cait and I taught our new friends the hand-game, Miss Mary Mac, and then played about 1000 rounds with all of the girls, over and over again!  We had so much fun.

--- The girls requested me to play football (soccer) with them, and I played a full game, and really enjoyed it!  It's the little things.

--- It rained all during Oratory this evening. After the girls' football game ended, I sat down under some cover and watched the boys' game.  As the rain poured down upon them while they played, I recalled St. Therese's promise that after her death, she would continue her mission on earth by showering little flowers upon the world.  Today, on her feast day, I could put tangible reality to the floods of spiritual showers Therese was pouring into our hearts.  

--- Salesian tradition includes a daily "Good Night" talk, a short message given to the children at the end of the day.  With only a few minutes notice, I was asked by Br. Peter to offer a few words to the group tonight.  What a way to end the day, by sharing a little bit about my girlfriend Therese and her Little Way of Love.  

The day was simple, nothing extraordinary happened, but throughout each small moment I was overwhelmed with love.  How appropriate- this is exactly how St. Therese teaches us to live.  If you haven't already, especially in light of the feast we celebrate today, I'd encourage you to read the tab I've posted at the top of this blog, The Little Flower.  It talks in a bit more detail about who St. Therese was and gives an explanation for the namesake of this blog.  I'd also encourage you to ask for her prayers today as we grow evermore in the virtue of Love.  Therese is an amazing role model for us all.  St. Therese of Lisieux, Little Flower, pray for us all.

"Let us Love, 
since that is all our hearts were made for."

-Therese